wiz: this episode of game battle is brought to you by gamefly. wiz: television has been used to market toys to boys and girl for generations... ...ranging from g.i. joe to barbie and transformers to my little pony boomstick: are we really doing this? wiz: yes... yes we are.
what does a lap dance consist of, boomstick: alright well, starscream for the first generation decepticons... wiz: and rainbow dash of the g4 pegasus ponies. boomstick: he's wiz and i'm boomstick wiz: and it's our job analyse their weapons, armour and skills...
... to find out who would win a death battle. wiz: starscream is the air commander of the decepticon battle fleets. he constantly seeks power... ... and often attempts to usurp megatron's leadership of the decepticons... ... with little success. boomstick: he has two forms... giant robot and jet! wiz: his robot form is primarily meant for ground travel... ...so it can fly short distances.
boomstick: this form's weaponry consists of cluster bombs... ...missiles, machine guns and histrademark null ray, a laser that shuts down anything that uses electricity. wiz: he can transform into an f15 eagle... ...a twin-engine all-weather fighter jet withtop speeds reaching mach 2.8... ...nearly three times the speed of sound! boomstick: in jet from, he can fire three different types of homing missiles... ...from short rangesidewinders to long-range slammers. and if those don't do the trick, he's equippedwith an m61a1 vulcan gatling gun! it fires 20 millimeter ammo and 6,000rounds per minute!
fun fact: it also works great for hunting! wiz: starscream is a coward and uses cheap tactics, often shooting his opponents inthe back. however his deadliest weapon is arguablyhis silver tongue. while he is not the strongest decepticon, he is a clever and deceiving speaker who can worm his way into favourable positions. despite this, he is a terrible strategist!most of his plans instantly go wrong! boomstick: like when he took over the decepticonsbecause megatron had a sore throat! megatron: *barely distinguishable* autobots! starscream: too bad! he's blown his vocal components! i guess that makes me the new leader!
boomstick: it was short-lived. wiz: and yet his persistence paid off and he was eventually crowned leader of the decepticon faction. boomstick: again, short lived. wiz: starscream was king for awhopping 20 seconds, a personal record. however, after his death, starscreamdiscovered that his spark or life force was somehow indestructible. boomstick: and a goodthing too because since then he's been dying nearly every episode. wiz: his ghostlyspark can possess machinery. he has taken over several othertransformers, robots and even a cybernetic school girl while she was using the bathroom. boomstick: what?
wiz: unfortunately, his poor knowledge of human society led him to forget to pull up the girl's underwear, making him the laughing stock of the school. boomstick: probs to you, japan. i didn't see that one coming. megatron: you're an idiot, starscream! *cues: mlp fim - sonic rainboom (just an old mare's tale)* wiz: rainbow dash is a pegasus pony from equestria, the magical land of ponies. boomstick: *groans* wiz: after dropping out of flight school, rainbow found a job in ponyville as weather manager. she is a strong, agile flyer with greatdurability and resilience. she can smash through trees and solid rock and get right back up.
she is also training to join thewonderbolts, a superb team of fliers who are kind of like the blue angels. boomstick: except they're ponies! wiz: she is also a black belt in karate. boomstick: how does a pony learn karate? let alone master it? wiz: as a pegasus pony, rainbow can controlweather. she can use the clouds in the sky to manipulate lightning strikes orprecipitation. also, she can create and control gianttornadoes. boomstick: she's also got some other moves likethe buccaneer blaze which apparently is so amazing, it can't be shown on screen. and somehow it creates a huge explosion.
wiz: rainbow often brags that she's the fastest in the world. and you know what? she's right. by calculations according tothis guy... ...rainbow dash can fly five times thespeed of sound with ease. this is apparent through the mach cone thatoften forms around rainbow... ...which indicates she has broken the soundbarrier. and the angle of which proves she can reach up to mach five speeds. boomstick: this is a pony! a baby horse girl toy! why is it so awesome!? wiz: and upon reachingmach 5, she enters hypersonic speeds to create the sonic rainboom!
with this, herspeed doubles instantaneously to mach 10. and somehow the resulting sonic boomcompletely shatters the visible light spectrum. boomstick: not to mention the sonic boom itself isapparently strong enough to split solid rock and shake entire mountains! wiz: rainbow is brash, athletic and extremelycompetitive. but while she's steadfast and loyal ,she sometimes cheats to get her way. boomstick: well, let's make it fight a giant robot! rainbow dash: yeeeeaaaahhh! wiz: all right, the combatants are set! let'send this debate once and for all! boomstick: but first, apparently all of you haven'tsigned up for your free trial of gamefly yet!
boomstick: so we have to tell you about it again! boomstick: gamefly's the largest online video game rental service. ...and offers you over seventhousand titles across all consoles and handhelds. plans start at $15.95 a month. wiz: members can rent one to four games at atime for as long as they want with no late fees no due dates and free shipping. boomstick: and if you like the game enough, you can buy for a discounted price. everyone go to gamefly.com/deathbattle and get 15 three days of games! but right now, it's time for a death battle! starscream: who dares challenge the mighty starscream!?
*cues: mlp fim - rarity's fashion show* rainbow dash: hi there. announcer: fight! starscream: *laughs mockingly* a pony!? i'll crush you in an instant! prepare to beannihilated! rainbow dash: you talk a lot i am going to kill you starscream: that's it! i am going to kill you- rainbow dash: tag! you're it! starscream: *yells in frustration*
*gatling gun firing* *missiles firing* yeah starscream: alright, don't move! blast it! hey! what are you doing!? stop that! rainbow dash: you're not very good at this game, are you? starscream: ugh!
where are you? show yourself! hey! *screams in pain* rainbow dash: huh? *null ray firing* starscream: *laughing* rainbow dash: *snorts* alright. it! is! on! starscream: woah! woah! woah! woah! starscream: wait! wait, i'm sorry! please don't hurt me! i'll... i'll join the herd!
i'll be a good decepticon from now on!please just let me go! rainbow dash: well, i don't know. i mean, i know i should love and tolerate but... wait... what's that? starscream: die! rainbow dash: ohmygosh! *long silence* *sonic rainboom!* *buccaneer blaze* rainbow dash: aw yeah! that was awesome!
starscream: you haven't won! i'm invincible! my spark lives! you can never defeat star- rainbow dash: *gulps* announcer: ko! boomstick: oh, get on down! that pony is a monster! wiz: rainbow's speed and agility were more than a match for the clumsy starscream. and it doesn't help that his aim is even worse than a stormtrooper's. not to mention the null ray is designedto destroy electronics not living ponies. boomstick: she just ate a transformer!
wiz: yes, and while rainbow might experiencesome mild indigestion... ...starscream's not going anywhere anytimesoon boomstick: well, she put the "pwn" in "pony". wiz: the winner is rainbow dash. boomstick: next time on death battle... boomstick: hey! you got an idea for a death battle?leave it in the comments below. leave it in the comments below. wiz: and remember the next episode is the lastone featured on youtube and revision3 before death battle goes exclusive tothe new screwattack.com.
boomstick: which is now live, so go check it out! wiz: also, a big thanks to zach wilson, erikamenendez and jim sterling for lending their voices to the episode. boomstick: thanks for watching!
