>> andrew: hi mom! >> mom: hey john, uh...andrew. do your homework! i'm sick of the school [bleep] calling me. >> peach: oh my god, here we go again.
where does dance moms get their costumes, >> mario: this is getting so boring. huh? >> mario: same [bleep]. same [bleep] every single day.>> peach: of course, every single day. >> mario: let me go deal with it.>> peach: now you're gonna go.
>> peach: now i'm going to get kidnapped in 1, 2... help! help! >> mario: oh [bleep], who the [bleep] are these girls? >> luigi: which girls? >> mario: luigi!? >> luigi: mario! >> mario: how you doing?>> luigi: hello papi. >> mario: look at what i'm dealing with. should we go? >> luigi: yeah.>> mario: let's go.
>> mario: check it out, check it out.>> luigi: hello, hey. >> mario: hello mami, how are you doing? >> mushroom: hello, my love. >> luigi: where'd he go? >> andrew: aw, man. [luigi crying] >> luigi: mario?>> mario: get up, let's go. >> luigi: what?>> mario: i have four lives bro. just don't touch these [bleep]. >> mushroom: can i kiss you?>> mario: no, no. don't listen. come on! come on!
>> mario: don't touch her. it's bad. don't touch her. >> luigi: yo!>> mario: how you doing? >> mario: okay, okay, okay.>> luigi: concentrate, concentrate! alright. >> mario: we just have to get to that one right there. >> luigi: yo, but this one. >> mario: what are you doing? don't touch her! don't touch her! come on! come on! >> hannah stocking: hey guys! >> mario & luigi: hey hannah! >> mario: how are you? >> hannah stocking: where's my hug at?
>> mario: yeah, just stay the [bleep] away, but how are you? >> hannah stocking: touch me! >> hannah stocking: touch me!>> mario: hey, hey, hannah look! it's one direction.>> luigi: one direction! >> hannah stocking: shut up! >> luigi: go! go! go! go! >> hannah stocking: where are they? >> luigi: see you later. [peach screaming] >> daisy: peach?
>> peach: daisy? >> daisy: oh my god. what are you doing here? >> peach: how long have you been here? >> daisy: oh my god, like 10 years. >> peach: luigi? >> daisy: yes. >> peach: you know what? why don't we escape? >> daisy: yeah! we should escape. >> peach: why don't we do this ourselves?
>> daisy: yes! let's do it! help! >> peach: this way.>> daisy: oh. >> toad: i think it should go like dun nun nuna. >> mario: what the [bleep]? >> toad: yo. >> mario: what the [bleep] is this [bleep]?>> luigi: i don't know. >> toad: it's a whole new world, mother [bleep]. >> mario: you look like aladdin.
>> toad: i'm toad. i make all your music. >> mario: bro, we got [bleep] to do. i don't know where we are and we gotta save these [bleep]. >> mario: i promise i will get you guys out of here. let's just have one shot. >> mario: we have no time to chill.>> luigi: we can't chill bro. >> toad: guys, just one shot? >> mario: one shot?>> luigi: let's do one shot. >> mario: [bleep] it. one shot. >> toad: perfect. >> mario: two shots?>> luigi: let's do two.
>> toad: two? >> mario: three shots, call it a night. >> toad: woo! let's do it. >> mario: six shots and we're out of here.>> luigi: and we're out. >> toad: seven.>> mario: no, no more than seven shots. i can't do more than seven. >> toad: nine.>> mario: nine shots and i get sick. >> luigi: ten it is! >> mario: ten is a good number.>> toad: woo! yoshii, hit it one time! >> yoshii: one, two, three, here we go! [music]
>> peach: check that door! just check it! >> daisy: no, there's nothing. >> peach: shh. shh.>> daisy: what are we gonna do? what are we gonna do? >> peach: you can't make any noise. >> daisy: you're an idiot. don't make noise she says. >> mario: let's go and save these [bleep].>> luigi: let's go! >> peach: mario! >> daisy: luigi! >> mario & luigi: [bleep].
>> toad: i'm toad. >> daisy: you guys are idiots, okay? >> mario: it's a-me mario!>> luigi: luigi! >> daisy: what are you guys drunk? >> mario: a little bit, i'm not gonna lie, a little bit.>> luigi: a lot. >> peach: do you know what we did today? we saved ourselves.>> daisy: yes. >> mario: check out our new friend.>> luigi: i took 10 mushrooms. >> toad: i hooked them up, i hooked them up. >> peach: okay, let's go.
>> mario: okay! let's go.>> luigi: you should take a mushroom. >> luigi: let's go! >> peach: wait! >> andrew: bowser! bowser's coming! >> daisy: what are we gonna do? >> mario: okay, everybody relax, okay. we got this, alright. we've worked way too long and way too hard and way too long. we've been in this [bleep] god dang game way too long. >> mario: sorry, sorry. [bleep] the speech.>> peach: okay, let's go!
>> peach: let's go. let's just fight. go!>> mario: let's go. >> mario: alright, come on, let's do this. on the count of 3 ready... 1 >> peach: 2 >> mario: 3! >> andrew: no, no, no! >> mom: are you doing your... are you doing your homework? i hope your not playing that video game. i don't really care.
>> bowser: cheers man!>> mario: cheers bro! >> mario: why are we always fighting? >> bowser: i don't know, let's be friends.>> mario: let's be friends. i'm down. >> mario: holy [bleep], we won! >> luigi: where did she go? >> mario: why are you crying, bro? come on! oh my god. >> peach: we're gonna finish the game. >> mario: should we go?
>> peach: yeah! >> mario: let's go!>> daisy: let's do it! >> daisy: what the [bleep] is happening? >> mario: why can't we move? >> andrew: battery died! >> toad: i think the battery died. >> peach: did he save it? >> andrew: and i forgot to save the game! >> mario: oh [bleep].
[all screaming]
>> peach: no! >> mario: [bleep]. [exit music]
